The Hen, The Egg and that which is between

Pain. Piercing, unyielding, stabbing.

Rises to the eye’s edges and stings.

As its echo comes the mind and begins to unfold the narrative that will explain the “why” behind that initial feeling, simply because, inherently, the mind must find the “why” for every “what” it defines, just as it does now.

It starts by defining that abstract burning sensation.

It attaches to it words like ‘rejection’ or ‘abandonment’, but since words themselves are mere templates aiming to describe a feeling, they will never have a direct connection to its essence.

So, where do they draw their path from?

From the same place that can’t contain things unless neatly arranged, like eggs hatched from the wild nature into the egg cartoon through which they are sold to humanity in a grocery store, allowing the lack of memory of the hen that laid them to be so easily embedded.

The moment awareness allows the mind to take charge, the story narrative starts;

Feeling receives a definition,

To that definition, a reason is tightly bound,

And from that very point, the path unfolds to find some ‘other,’ whether it be a ‘nation’, an ‘event,’ or an ‘individual.’ The crucial point is that this ‘other’ is one to which human consciousness can attribute the responsibility for that unbearable feeling it experiences.

The result – pain wrapped in thoughts that create a layer of haze, obscuring its initial intensity.

When there’s any ‘other’ to blame, that initial burning feeling from which everything began seems suddenly so distant. Like that piece of land that is left behind, as the ferry on which human consciousness took a ride slowly drifts away.

‘Truth’ can only exist in a place free from inventions, not because inventions are a ‘lie’, but simply because in their essence- they cannot be the truth.

And words, being words, will always form the base for any invention.

Therefore, one who yearns for ‘truth’ will return to the initial shore from which his consciousness fled into the ferry of ‘words’, and will abandon all ideas of any responsible ‘other’ and all the definitions his mind attached to the initial abstract experience, and by that will return

to that initial, scorching, unbearable feeling.

And ‘be’ alongside it. Simply be.

Any point in which human consciousness is directed ‘out’, that is it is engaged with some ‘other,’ is a signpost that before that point, in some moment of distraction, there was pain that went unnoticed and became a story to which words and definitions were attached, and to which immediately some ‘others’ were attached to be found responsible, whoever they may be, as long as they are not ‘me’.

And that is the most cunning prison ever created by humans.

The wave

And then it comes, The wave.I can’t function. Im gripping the meatal railing of the roller coaster tightly, the one that the attendant instructed us to hold just before activating the ride. Nothing changes, as if life has frozeen in a singular moment of fear. An endless free fall Thoughts

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Elephants

My mother was diagnosed with cancer when I was nine. She fought through three rounds of the disease until the last one, when she finally raised her hands in surrender, allowing it to consume her—slowly—until it carried her beyond existence. From my perspective, this timeline began when I was nine

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Being

Imagine a situation where being with yourself is an unbearable experience,but not as unbearable as being in the company of anyone else.It’s like being a fish allergic to water,or a leaf allergic to the tree,or a wave allergic to the sea,or a ray of sunlight allergic to the sky,or simply

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